Sorry for the long span between posts, we've been a little busy lately. The worst has happened.....I have returned to work!!! I had 8 wonderful weeks with our precious Addison but it came to an abrupt end 3 weeks ago. The first day back was heart wrenching. We were on our way to Grandma Eileen's when she started fussing, so I started talking to her to calm her down. I only got a few words out before I started crying myself. What a help I was! I managed to hold it together (I have no idea how) while I dropped her off. I hugged her and gave her a million kisses before handing her over. Thank goodness she was happy at the time or I don't think I would've left the house until she stopped crying. Off to work I was, miserable but still holding it together....that was, until Doug called. "So, how are you doing" he asked and the flood gates opened. I don't consider myself to be a very emotional person, it takes a lot for me to shed a tear, but even thinking back to that day now I start to cry. This little angel that God has blessed us with has changed me in so many ways, I cannot even begin to tell you. I know Doug regretted calling me that morning, but I'm glad he did. I needed to cry to someone, although I didn't want to hear any of his encouragement. He said all the right things - she's in good hands, it's good for her, it'll get easier in time. But my heart was aching to be back with her and my mind couldn't rationalize being away. "I just want to quit, I'm ok with being poor - as long as I'm with her I'm fine" I think was some of what I said through the sobs. We ended the call with Doug saying he would call later to check in, but he didn't.....I think we all know why! I wish I could say it's getting easier every day, but that's just not the case. Every morning she looks up at me with those big blue eyes and a big smile, like she's saying "Please don't leave me Mommy" and my heart just melts. I am very fortunate though with her caregivers. Monday she goes to Grandma Eileen's, Tues & Thurs she goes to St. Libory daycare where my sister-in-law Tonya is the director, Wed she's at Grandma Cheryl's and Friday's she's with Mommy! I did get Doug to compromise on a 4 day work week. I have a 32 hour work week, so my salary was reduced by 20%, but it's totally worth it. I cherish those days and look forward to them all week long.
Addison is now 10wks, that's over 2 months old! I just can't believe it. At her 2 month appointment she weighed 11lbs 2ozs and was 24'' long, a healthy baby. She's smiling and cooing like crazy. Doug and I are just mesmerized by her. When she gives us a big smile, we stop everything we're doing and say "Did you just see that?!?" There's just nothing like it....
I'll try to post some new pictures soon! Until next time.
